Oh the Memories
by gottahavekyuubi
Summary: Memories are cherished, relished even embellished. These? Not so much. If anything, bordered on obscenity. Oh well, it's their story and who's to say they're lying but each other? When a mission goes wrong, you've just gotta go with the flow! NarutoxIno LOTS OF BANTER


**Hola, it's my birthday today!**

 **Anyway**

 **I've been playing 'Tales from the Borderlands' recently and I  
** **had this amazing idea stuck in my head for ages, like it's gnawing at my brain!  
So yes, I'm back to NarutoxIno stories, this time it won't be a harem  
(But it will have the concurrent theme of different partners in between)**

 **So get prepared for banter between our favorite blond jinchuriki and blonde bimbo (jk i love her)!**

 **Also this is my first attempt at a comedy/serious fanfiction so please go easy on the flames  
please?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Memory**

Grass flowed softly, bringing with it the wondrous smell of nature. Blades waved in the winds rubbing against his rough hands and a few flower petals wisped by tickling the whiskers adorning his face. The boy whipped his head around, bearing golden strands of hair that seemed to go in all directions. Nature seemed to caress him, holding the boy within her magnificent yet gentle grasp. He sighed in content; the winds weren't freezing, but they sure as hell weren't hot. Maybe this is what he needed; a mission to get his mind straight.

Oh he could remember the tirade Baa-chan had given him just a day prior. Her face was red with rage and her hair even seemed to be steaming in her wrath. The boy scoffed when her threats came full throttle. They were mostly true, but the Uzumaki knew better than to let insulting words get to him. Especially if they were from Tsunade.

At first he was completely against the idea of going on a mission, after all, his rasenshuriken needed work.

The damage he'd done to Kakuzu recently gave the Uzumaki all the green light he needed. If he had an attack that could defeat and render an Akatsuki shinobi useless; the boy needed to perfect it. As of now, his arm was still in a slight cast; barely able to move due to their tight binds. Thankfully, the furball within was doing what he does best; heal his wounds. The fox had told him his arm would be in working order within another day of waiting.

"I can't wait!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air, almost like a pseudo victory pose. "For over a week I've been without my right arm…kami."

The Kyuubi within sighed and turned away from its container. The Uzumaki though continued his minor celebration. This mission will go smoother once his arm was healed. After all, he couldn't make a Shadow Clone with only one hand, nor could he make rasengan with one hand. He sighed, turning to the gorgeous mountains of purple and blue hue extending in the distance. Forests bordered his right flanks while his left was filled with nothing but grassy plains. Where he was, he had no idea, but his mission took him as far west as Iwagakure.

How he was going to get there, the Uzumaki was at a loss.

* * *

"Okay, okay, I've heard enough."

The blond frowned, glaring at the person sitting next to him. "Damn you Ino. I was just getting to the good part."

Ino gave the bruised Uzumaki a deadpanned expression. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No." The reply was curt, drilling at Ino's ego.

She too was bruised and even had a few cuts on her body. "Ugh. For starters, the mission was taking us to Kawa no Kuni, not Iwagakure."

"No way." Naruto looked at her with disbelief, his bruised eye barely able to open.

"Yes way, baka." Ino chastised. "Do you even slightly remember what we were tasked to get? Also, everything you said was bullshit!"

"The hell it was!" Naruto gritted his teeth. "It was beautiful and pretty-"

An uncomfortable shuffle came from the dark of the room. The boy looked around, catching the sight of the single light hanging above them, dangling like their thread of escape. Ino was chained and so was he. Normally this wouldn't be a bloody problem, but their captors were smart and knew how to trap a shinobi. Their chains were laced with a fuinjutsu that absorbed chakra if too much was channeled into it. Naruto even thought of overloading it when they were first pushed into the prison-like room. There wouldn't be enough ramen in the world to take him out of this slump.

Ino was faring slightly better than the Uzumaki, but she was obviously tense. Naruto could sense the anxiety flowing off of her in droves. She was terrified with good reason. Kunoichi when captured would be subject to a lot of fucked up things; mostly rape. The boy shuddered slightly, sapphire eyes slowly trailing over to her. She glared at him and clearly wanted to punch him. He smirked a cheesy, shit eating grin with flecks of blood still embedded between his teeth.

"Kami, you're disgusting." Ino rolled her eyes turning her head to face the wall.

The shuffle was heard once more. It seemed their captor wanted to say something.

Naruto watched the dim light reveal a hand holding a giant tray, upon it sat two plates, both stacked with steaming rice, roasted beef and even broccoli on the side. Ino immediately shuffled ahead to eat, but Naruto sat back, clearly put off by the idea of vegetables. He groaned, even making a face to display his disdain.

"Naruto, can you not be a picky bitch for once?" Ino gave him an incredulous look. "Vegetables are great for you-"

"But I was kinda hoping for ramen…" Naruto looked away.

"These people captured us, how in the hell do you think they'd give us-"

The plate was replaced with a bowl of steaming ramen, almost as if it was freshly made. Naruto gave Ino a smirk and dug in. It burned, but it hurt so good. He slurped, sucking at every section of the ramen, practically absorbing the ramen into his body. The boy knew he was being extremely disgusting, but he didn't care. He was a prisoner and alive for a reason. He knew they wouldn't kill him. Once he'd finished, he turned to see Ino staring at him with a look of utter disbelief.

"Why must you always be so gross?" Ino looked away from the blond she was chained to and back to her food.

Naruto watched her, almost as if her thoughts were forming right before his eyes. If he wasn't in such a situation; he would have found it rather comical. Her sky blue eyes trailed to her food, then back to the mess he'd made, then back to her own food. It was almost as if she'd lost her appetite. Oh, Naruto was going to enjoy this.

"Now's not the time to be picky." Naruto leaned, whispering to his fellow blonde.

"Picky?!" Ino griped. "I just watched you- no. Nevermind."

"Can we get this interrogation on?!" Naruto bellowed. "I'm full and I'm ready to answer whatever you have to ask."

Suddenly, a giant fist slammed into the table surface, denting the thin metal. Naruto watched with a wide eye as his porcelain ramen bowl bounced and rolled off, shattering into tiny pieces. Like his heart. He turned to see Ino with the same look of surprise; sadly it wasn't for the same reasons. Rice and vegetables covered her face and clothing. Sauce dribbled down her brow with a bit dripping from her chin. Slowly but surely, the plate began to slide from her platinum blonde hair; hair she cherished above everything else. Of course, Naruto sniggered slightly, trying his best to keep his emotions reigned within.

"The interrogation will begin when the boss says it begins." A deep, gruff voice came from the darkness; easily could belong to a man of gargantuan size. "Now shut up and enjoy the meal we gave you two."

"But I already finished mine-"

"You're not getting seconds if that's what you're about to ask." It was almost as if the man had read Naruto's thoughts. Given the laugh that reverberated throughout the room, the man knew it too. "If the boss won't let us have seconds, then you can't get seconds."

Naruto gave the dark figure a look of disgust. "Your boss doesn't let you have seconds?"

"N-No…" The figure's voice downcast.

"That's horrible…" Naruto felt tears sting in his eyes. "How can you stomach working for someone like that?"

"Because; he's my boss- Hey!" The man slammed his fist into the table once more, this time getting a high pitched 'meep' from the resident Uzumaki. "I don't know what kind of game you're trying to play, but shut your mouth!"

Ino rolled her eyes, turning her head to meet the red faced Uzumaki. "You just had to piss him off, didn't you?"

"I don't see you doing anything to get us out the situation!" Naruto spat, eyes shut with an indignant look upon his face.

"Out of the situation?" Ino gasped. "What the hell are you doing to get us out of the situation?!"

"Don't get mad at me that you're not as great as me!" Naruto knew he was crossing boundaries and probably pushing it, but he wanted to make sure Ino knew what was up. "I am at least trying to do something!"

"Oh, befriending our captors?" Ino glared. "How is that _helping_?"

Naruto shook his head at looked back at the darkness before them. "If you know your enemy as you know yourself, you will never be in peril."

It was silent for a while, leaving the blond to wonder if he'd said something wrong. Sapphire orbs trailed over to find Ino absolutely awestruck. Her mouth agape like a fish out of water. For a moment, the boy thought he might have broken her with what he said.

"Ino?" Naruto asked timidly.

"N-Naruto…" Ino could barely speak. "That was probably one of the most poetic and amazing things you've ever said!"

"Thank you…?" Naruto laughed nervously. "I made it up just now actually!"

A blush adorned Ino's cheeks. "Really?"

"Of course-"

Another shuffle was heard. "Bullshit." This time it was a higher pitched voice, clearly belonging to that of an adult male probably in his late twenties, early thirties. "I'm reading that line in this book- the Art of War! Lying sack of shit."

"Oh come on!" Naruto cried out in exasperation. "I'm trying to look good for the lady!"

"Not only are you annoying and gross, but you're a liar." Ino growled, turning her head away from her fellow prisoner.

"Ugh." The man from the shadows growled. "You didn't even quote it right!"

"Of course I wouldn't quote it right, baka!" Naruto shouted. "If you're gonna steal a quote, don't say it right! Someone might understand it!"

"Well that backfired pretty bad didn't it; baka?" Ino laughed.

Naruto shut his eyes, bristled by her comment. "Did I ask for your opinion?"

"Of course not!" Ino laughed even harder. "I gave it anyway."

A screech, louder than anything they'd heard in their lives cut their banter short. Naruto and Ino shuddered painfully, feeling the hair from their bodies rise. Naruto's skin went cold while Ino's bones went stiff. Shuffling was heard and even a small struggle was heard as the figures that spoke to them clamored to get into parade dress. Apparently the big guy had arrived.

"I understand that you two were the shinobi that the Konoha dogs had sent to retrieve the Ibutsu from Kawa no Kuni almost three months ago." A powerful voice spoke from a wall of smoke heading their way. "I also understand that you two lost it-"

"Whoa now." Ino gave the man a pompous look. "Neither of us may be the best shinobi in Konoha-"

"Shut up, Ino."

"But we didn't lose the damn thing!" Ino stuck her tongue out. "It was fake!"

Naruto nearly choked on his spit. "Damn it Ino! It was a high ranking mission; what are you doing spilling information!?"

"No harm in telling them that the Ibutsu they're looking for doesn't exist-"

From the darkness, the two blonds took notice of a large, calloused hand peering into the light. In between the index and middle was a cigar burning with soft orange embers, almost as if it was recently lit. "Don't lie to me." The voice said. "I know it exists. And I'm certain it wasn't fake either."

"How do you expect to know the truth-?"

"Since you're the one with exceptional memory, regale me the tale." The man said with a bit of mirth. "Tell me how a mission that was supposed to take a week, extend to almost three months."

"Where to begin." Ino was at a loss. "So much happened and I'm not sure I even-"

Glinting caught her attention. She turned to Naruto to find that he too noticed it. They were armed and definitely not afraid to maim them if need be.

"Best you start from the begin-"

Naruto laughed and gave Ino a knowing smirk. "I got this."

"So it started a little like this…"

* * *

Grass flowed softly, bringing with it the wondrous smell of nature. Blades waved in the winds rubbing against his rough hands and a few flower petals wisped by tickling the whiskers adorning his face. The boy whipped his head around, bearing golden strands of hair that seemed to go in all directions. Nature seemed to caress him, holding the boy within her magnificent yet gentle grasp. He sighed in content; the winds weren't freezing, but they sure as hell weren't hot.

* * *

"Oh my fucking god." Ino groaned, shooting her head back into her seat. "Come on!"

"That isn't the beginning?" The boss asked.

"What the hell- of course it isn't!" Ino cried. "URGH! I'll be telling the story!"

"Then by all means, Princess."

* * *

Grass flowed softly, bringing with it the wondrous smell of nature. Blades-

"Oh so it's okay for you to start it off like that but not for me-?!"

"My story, my opening." Ino replied.

"But it's the same fucking-"

"Watch your language." The boss spoke with a growl. "Also, I've never even heard this story before."

If Naruto could facepalm, he would have. "FINE! Go on."

Blades waved in the winds rubbing against her soft, porcelain skin. She was at ease, enjoying the weather the village was experiencing. After recently losing her sensei to the Akatsuki, she'd come to take the best in life instead of wallowing in despair. Not to say she'd completely moved on, her heart was still torn asunder. But in the recesses of her mind, she'd never forgotten and she was damn sure she'd never forgive. The least she could do was enjoy the training field while she could.

Ino leaned into the grass, relishing the feel as they danced against her skin. Almost as smooth as she was, the grass waved with a certain grace. Fluid like the winds themselves, Ino felt in heaven. Her sky blue eyes shot to the clouds above, watching them like a certain lazy genius she knew. For a moment, she'd lost herself in her muse, feeling the ride of the breeze. This is peace.

* * *

"Ok, so I can't describe a beautiful scene, but you can?!" Naruto cried, interrupting once again. "That's so unfair, I'm beginning to sense a double-standard!"

"Kami, does he ever shut up?" Boss-man asked, pointing his burning cigar at Naruto.

"Not that I know of." Ino shrugged. "Maybe if you tape his mouth shut…no, he'll probably eat it."

"Just continue the story!" Naruto cried.

* * *

She rose from the grass sensing someone nearby. A large cloud of chakra had risen, almost like an aura. With a skillful swing, she'd faced the intruder only to find that it was an ANBU shinobi that had just appeared in the training field. He walked calmly to her, completely unapologetic. The dancing grass seemed to writhe and collapse beneath the ANBU's weight, crunching underneath his sandals. He was stoic, hidden behind his mask of white, red and black.

"Yamanaka Ino, Hokage-sama requires your presence." The ANBU said with a rather monotone voice, only to disappear in a swirl of autumn leaves.

"Well that was one hell of a talk." Ino shrugged.

There was no use keeping the Hokage waiting. Ino walked ahead, hand running through her platinum blonde hair, stopping just at the tie holding her hair together. She sighed softly, losing sight of the peace that she'd just felt. It was almost as if this day would become 'gloom n' doom'; something he wished wouldn't happen.

Upon entering the Hokage tower, she caught the sight of shinobi walking about, each one doing something or another that helped to fortify the tower grounds. It was almost as if Konoha was preparing for war. She whisked forward, eyes staying averted from the hard working men and women, quickly entering the building itself. Inside was another story.

Men and women were clamoring over paperwork, some even running to and fro with boxes filled with paperwork; some even looked rather important. Knowing the Hokage though, Ino was sure Tsunade-sama had something else she intended to spend her time on. She waltzed up the stairs ignoring the looks some of the shinobi and kunoichi gave her. Paperwork and books were everywhere. The tower needed a serious clean-up job to do-

"Hey, watch where you're going- Naruto?" Ino looked incredulously.

"Ino?" The blond in question asked with wide eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Tsunade-sama called me here, what are you doing here with all of this commotion?" Ino walked up next to him.

"Huh, is that so?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "She called me too!"

"Eh?" Ino was surprised. "Even with your fucked up arm?"

"Hey!" He pointed accusingly. "My arm is fine, thank you very much! It's just…"

"Wrapped in a cast because you tore it apart." Ino deadpanned.

"To save you." He gave her a chaste response.

Ino looked away. "Yeah…thank you for that by the way."

"No problem." Naruto laughed. "We're comrades right?"

"Of course." Ino giggled. "Now come on, before the books start forming walls."

The two blonds rode up the stairs to find the Hokage's door ajar. Timidly, the male of the two crept over and peeked in. Tsunade was sweating bullets and rested her knuckles on her desk. She was staring at a map of sorts with a few well known jōnin standing with her. Naruto knocked and made his presence known. Tripping over a few stacked books and nearly slipping on stray sheets of paper, made the jōnin and Hokage quickly regret their decision of choosing the blond dobe.

"Baa-chan, you called me?" The boy rubbed the back of his head. His shit-eating smirk only seemed to grow when he noticed the tic mark growing on her forehead.

"Naruto." Tsunade sighed, motioning the boy forward. "You and Jiraiya did many things on your training trip, correct?"

"Yeah?" Naruto asked. "He taught me fighting styles, ninjutsu, espionage and even history, while I didn't really like it, I just-"

"Do you know anything of the Sage of the Six Paths?" Tsunade asked, clearly not intending to sit through a monologue from the boy.

"Just a bit." Naruto replied. "Powerful old man-"

Ino watched some of the jōnin pale at how offhand the boy was talking about the god of shinobi.

"Beat some great monster, something or another, did some stuff; made other stuff." Naruto scratched his nose. "Y'know, I honestly didn't listen to him much. ALL I KNOW, before you decide to murder me, is that he was from a powerful clan."

"Good." Tsunade said, flipping through a ragged old book. "This is what you and Ino will be looking for."

"EH?!" Naruto's eyes popped from his head. "Why Ino? Why not Sakura or Hinata even?"

"Ino is a better sensory ninja than both of them." Tsunade replied. "Also, given the implications of such a device as this, someone who knows the mind will be of better use."

Ino walked past the Uzumaki and stared at the book, examining the image before her. It was a totem, bearing primitive designs. She couldn't make it out, but it clearly had something to do with affecting the mind. She couldn't break her gaze from such a confusing relic of antiquity. She looked up to the Hokage, face hot with anxiety.

"Why are we so interested in such a thing so suddenly?" Ino asked.

"Because it was recently discovered in Kawa no Kuni after a group of archeologists excavated it." Tsunade said, pointing her finger at the map. "Survivors of the accident spoke of strange headaches and some even seeing things that didn't exist. While I'd send Sakura in without a doubt, your father here said that a Yamanaka could do just as well as a medic."

"But why me, father?" Ino asked.

"Because I believe you can do it." Inoichi smiled. "Also, the rest of us are interrogating the survivors and a few thugs that said they'd come in contact with the totem."

"Oh my god." Ino gasped. "It's that serious?"

"If the Akatsuki get their hands on such a device, you'd better know that they'd use its powers to build an army." Tsunade glared. "A middle-man will be waiting for you in Kawa no Kuni in exactly two days from this point on."

"Do we at least have a name for the totem?" Naruto asked with a confused look.

"For now it'll be called the 'Ootsutsuki Ibutsu."

* * *

 **Hopefully that wasn't a pain to read?**

 **Review or follow or favorite! Whichever you choose, I'm fine with it!**

 **Ja ne!**

 **gottahavekyuubi**


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